Within a Man’s Heart

  It was around the time I met Jack. At the beginning of our romance.  There was so much going on. I was in an impoverished condition.  We (me and the kids) were living in an apartment on a main drag in Vancouver.  It was a walk up and we lived on the third floor.  Above us lived a very snarly prostitute who had control of the thermostat. I think she was always cold, because the apartment was always roasting hot.  Below us lived a couple who had three kids, about the ages of my children.  On Welfare Wednesday they would get rip roaring drunk and kick their kids out of the house. The song “Achy Breaky Heart” would be wailing in from the apartment below, along with the hoots and hollers of extreme drunkenness.  I would come home from work at about midnight and see the kids hanging around the fire escape near my place.  “OK guys, come on in. Have you had dinner?” At around 1:00 AM I would be feeding these children, and finding them a spot to sleep. I tell you this, because these circumstances, along with the romance that was about to begin sort of frame this painting. I saw Jack every day at work.  He was always offering to help me with this and that. I could sense he was a beautiful and warm man, and he was also concerned about my situation.  He would come by and change light bulbs and do some handy work here and there, and help me take my enormous piles of laundry to the laundry mat. He would buy paintngs from me. I’ll feature one tommorrow. It really is a good one!  I felt like I looked like a used dish rag most of the time. I didn’t have nice clothes to wear, I was overweight, and extremely stressed.

Then along comes this beautiful man.  He eventually informed me of his intentions. That he loved me and wanted to marry me, and jump into this whole picture.  He wanted all of it. The kids, the responsibility, the bills. Wow.  I’m not sure when the exact moment was. If it was the first kiss (he had been helping me for a long time before we ever kissed) and I have to say that first kiss was pure magic. I knew when those lips touched my lips that I was going to be with this man for the rest of my life.  Yup. I think that was it.  He had asked me to marry him. I didn’t answer for months. I was terrified.  I was terrified that I would make yet another mistake in the relationship department.

He had been patient, I must say.  But one evening he came over and took me for  a drive.  He pleaded his case, and well, I just had to say yes!! That’s when we had that first magic kiss and I transformed into this painting. From an old dish rag to a beautiful princess. (He insists that Princess is below my status of Queen)

It was a long time still before “Within a Man’s Heart” actually came into being. I had moved from my horrible apartment into a better situation.  (no bugs, no prostitutes, and no drunks) into an old bungalow in South Vancouver.   I had started painting again. Jack and  I were now together, and life was good. I was at Lonsdale Quay exhibiting my work in the Market there.  Across the way I could see my friend Patricia looking at the flowers, and smelling them. Picking them up, looking at them. And the painting, the actual image was there.  In my mind.  I was so eager to get home and paint it!! The next morning I woke up at an ungodly hour. I started working on it.  I stayed on it for a week.  I hardly ate, was annoyed when I had to pee, because I had to stop painting to do that, and Angela and Jack took care of the baby’s  needs while I worked.

A bizarre twist to this story is that the original painting ended up being purchased from a Toronto exhibit by my FIRST HUSBAND!!

The original painting

Ready to Frame Print

Art Card

Early work, Whistling Dixie

29×21 inches, Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!!This paintng totally cracks me up. Painted in 88. Poor Carl, (my third husband) he would claim at art shows “It’s not ME!!!!” the guy in the paintng is a different husband. Not me!!!! And it wasn’t him, but somehow his look got in there.

There I am, crossing the street in the rain, carrying the groceries, and the kids, trying to keep track of that older one who is racing ahead and there he is. Just oblivious to the situation. As if he were a stranger on the street. Ooooooo. It pisses me off just thinking about it.

I have a lovely and attentive hubby now. But when I painted that picture, I was in a very bad mood, thinking about the time I had in the past, when my children were more helpful than my husband.  I think it’s a great painting. I especially love the grocery bag the little girl is dragging on the ground. Oh my!’

 

 

Little Woman

only 12×6 inches, acrylic and beads. This tiny painting was inspired by the large painting “Woman” and was painted for an exhibit of miniatures I had at St Lawrence Market.

This is a very current painting. I’m very proud of it! It’s small and has a small story. I was looking at “Woman” that hangs in my hallway, and happened to have a canvas that was much smaller and the same shape, and went “hmmmmmm” I think I’ll make a small similar painting.  Oh, great, there is a little space between the stretcher bars to do some beading. Perfect. I went and found the perfect beads in my bead drawer, and proceeded.

I am also on a mission to create a gift line of paintings with Priscilla.The problem with a gift line is that it’s hard to keep up with the demand.  Once people fall in love, those little paintings get consumed pretty quickly. (I am almost out, and need to make more) Now, this is inspiring a story.  I have a passion for miniatures. When I first started out as an artist in Vancouver, I sold my art almost exclusively door to door. I also set up a few paintings on the street in Gas Town. That was tough because there were bums who would “help me” set up, and want money, and they were aggressive. I didn’t like that part. I was so willing to do whatever it took.  I just wanted people to see my work, and I didn’t care in the least if the art community was liking it or not. My passion for getting my art out there was just as strong as my passion to paint, and my biggest joy was and still is, when someone really appreciated a painting or card or embroidery and I made hundreds of wonderful friends , and sold enough work to keep me going. I had a fantasy that I would one day create a miniature art gallery. The fantasy was for a doll house sized gallery. Beautiful with brick walls to hang the paintings, and the actual miniatures would be hanging in this doll house gallery, making it look as though the paintings were huge, in the tiny building.  I would have little “people” positioned inside the doll house gallery, looking at the paintings. The front would be opened, of course so the real people could see what was in there.  It would be two levels, and each little painting would have its own little gallery light over it. (Miniature of course) and there would be a couple of tall skinny windows with really beautiful drapes held open with miniature cords and tassels.  I can imagine “Little Woman” hanging in there. She would look like  she was huge in the gallery, with the tiny people looking at her. LOL I never did do it. Perhaps I still should!

I still think it’s a great idea!

http://www.artwanted.com/imageview.cfm?id=1082016

Paradise

40×30 inches, acrylic on canvas. I had been living in Hell’s Kitchen in Manhattan, and became very ill, having lost people whom I loved dearly.  This is the story of this painting. Many people have heard the condensed version, which is ” I moved from New York, to Vancouver, and it was so pretty there, I decided to make this painting and call it Paradise”. You are getting the in-depth details.

My husband at the time this was all happening was with me, but not. I don’t know how to describe the disconnect we had. I was falling fast, and I guess he just couldn’t conceive of my pain. I was sick with grief and couldn’t eat. I became anorexic. I went from about 135 pounds,  to 75 pounds in a two-year period.

My beautiful and wonderful sister helped me get to Vancouver. I will never forget our arrival. My youngest Priscilla who was straddled across me on the plane, threw up all over my dress. What a position to be in! It happened just as we were landing. I had only Angela (her older sister) to help me. She was five years old, and completely grossed out by it!  It was like she could not believe this. How could she be there with the barf?!! and after living in Hells Kitchen for over a decade, I wasn’t about to hand Priscilla over to a stranger, while I changed my clothes. (Which, by the way, were in my suitcase, that I had to go and collect from the baggage area)  After the plane landed, we ran into a bathroom, and I cleaned my dress as much as I could, while Angela sat with her sister, and gagged. Then I attended to Priscilla. Angela was completely traumatized by the entire affair! Then I went and got our suitcase, and then back to the bathroom to get changed.

We must have taken an extra long time to come out of the gates where my sister Susy was waiting for us. I was so happy to see her, and she was devastated to see me. I  must have looked like a holocaust victim or something. All skin and bones.  She smiled, we hugged, and started off to my parents’ house in Kitsilano. (A lovely section of Vancouver, close to the beach). As we drove through the streets, lined with big beautiful trees, Angela was very impressed. “Mom, is this a National Park?” She was looking out of the window . When we arrived my parents were thrilled to see us. Angela was enjoying all the attention, and was very amused by my Dad. She sat on the couch and said `Grandpa, your gonzo mushuganah!`(I don’t know if I spelled that right. I think it’s Yiddish. He was so-o-o-o- excited to meet his Grand daughter Priscilla, who looked very much like my Mom, who she was named after.  He already met Angela, but this was his first time meeting Priscilla. She, on the other hand, took one look at this big, excited, strange man and started screaming at the top of her lungs, refusing to go into the house for about two hours.

My parents rented us a basement apartment that we called the bubble gum house. It was bright pink inside. Priscilla thought she was in Barbie Princess paradise. I did have it re-painted (against Priscilla’s miniature protests). It was a bit too bright pink for me. We were in  Kitsilano, walking distance to the beach. It was all the healing and loving, and many days at the beach that allowed me to start to bounce back. My third husband Carl finally joined me and we rented a house.  I was almost back to health and happiness but still, very skinny, and just starting to get over things.  I was able to get some spiritual counseling in Los Angeles, and this really helped me get my health back, and my spirits back. I was feeling very alive and wonderful, and it was after this spiritual counseling that I realized I wanted to paint. I had Scientology Assists and these were so amazing. I was able to get back in communication with my body, and I started to just steadily gain back my health.  And then the counseling on top of that. I felt like a whole person again!

All of these experiences are in this painting. The journey from noisy, concrete  New York, to laid back, green and beautiful Vancouver,  the love for my children, my recovery, the love and help of my family and the absolute beauty of where I was, after I was recovered.

That’s the full story behind the painting. This painting belongs to John and Lisa Bell. A lovely and wonderful home.

www.ArtCardsWanted.com/card.cfm?ID=21450

Conceptuals

48x36x2 acrylic on glorious canvas!!

They are my expression of joy and happiness!! I painted this when Jack was building me a studio in the back of our house.

We were renting a ground floor/ basement apartment on Easy 43rd Ave, in Vancouver.,  directly across the street from the grave yard. Just a block or two away from little India, my neighbors were mainly East Indian. I loved it when they had special occasions, because the ladies wore extremely beautiful sari’s. (very inspiring) plus I loved the kids, who would come by once in a while to paint in the studio. When I was walking down the street, I would end up with a little group of girls, skipping happily behind me. “Kathy, can we paint today!!”

In the back of the house, and what was originally our bedroom, was three-quarters of the garage.  The part that had its own door to the outside. The other part was used by the landlord to store things, and was separated by a wall and a door. A generously sized room, and after Priscilla and Angela  moved out, we took Angela and Priscilla’s room and decided to make this my art studio.

Jack and I were a bit empty nesty after the kids left, and creating the studio definitely helped with that!!

When we talked about putting the studio there, there were lots of problems. One of them was that our landlord had a garden out front, and allowed the flowers to die and wither.  So in front of the house were many dead flowers. It didn’t look very appealing, and I didn’t feel comfortable trimming his flowers for him, but I couldn’t stand it!  When I had people over, I would rake the front yard, remove any junk I could, and covertly  trim the flowers.  At the back of our house was junk piled high. old cars, clothes, shoes, toys, you name it!!  I didn’t want people walking down the path beside our house, to the studio/ garage door, to see junk everywhere. I knew it would scare people off. Also, the building itself was lopsided inside the garage, and the ceiling and floor where not an equal distance from each other throughout the room.

We decided, after much discussion, that having a location where we could hang our paintings, and leave them hanging at no extra monthly expense to us, would be worth while, and we could camouflage the junk in the back yard, by building a lovely fence to hide that part of the yard.  I asked my fourth husband Bruce to finance the renovations to convert the garage into a studio/ gallery and he said yes, and together, he and Jack figured out how to level the space between the ceiling and the floor, so that Jack could install huge sliding doors, that were put in front of the closet area, so we could hang paintings on those, and we bought a carpet for the floor, and beautiful draperies. Susy helped me pick those. They were for a small wall, that had no potential to hang paintings, and covered some unattractive area in the room. ( without Bruce’s help, this studio would not have happened. He financed everything and helped us get the lumber, and draperies. I just have to give him a mention here, even though mentioning ex-husband and current husband in the same paragraph might be treading on turbulent waters. LOL) Jack did all the work inside and out. He built the most beautiful little court-yard outside of the door.  Brilliantly created a free-standing natural wood,  lattice fence and   put our beautiful alder love seat back there. It was a lovely space, just outside the studio. (I loved painting in my little courtyard, and I loved having people over in the summer and  being able to have the door open,  we could sit outside and also go inside. My beautiful sister Susy helped me pick the colors for the walls, and with a lot of hard work, we ended up with a lovely studio, where people could  walk down the path beside our house and open the door. And there it was.  An art gallery of Kathy Poitras paintings and at first, Susy Mallin lamps.  I was thrilled!!!  I created this painting around that time. Feeling so  happy, there I am in the painting. The delighted purpley pink flower about to take off and fly into new realms!!

http://www.artcardswanted.com/card.cfm?ID=21429

Angela

40×30 inches, arylic and metallic ink. It’ s inspiration is my daughter Angela

I think it was my second acrylic piece ever, and I was delighting in the whole concept of it.

The soft flowers, and the delicate colors. I was visiting my Dad, Joe Mallin (he’s an artist too, and if I ever get time to do it, his life could easily fill a book and make an incredible Hollywood movie. The man is bigger than life!) I was visiting him frequently, dragging my in progress painting across town on the bus, to  get his opinion on where it was at, in it’s various stages.

I had been noticed by artist Raymond Chow, and we were going to do something together. He is v-e-r-y- well-known in BC. I was one of the artists at Granville Island Market, and I was meeting some really wonderful people. I was in exhilaration while I painted it, and interestingly enough, Angela, who is just like that all time, popped into my painting. I looked at it after I finished, and said  “Hey! That’s Angela!!!” and everyone agreed it was.

Raymond was trying to help me get this made into Giclee prints, but I was stubborn, and said no to his help. He offered to finance it for me. I wanted to pay for everything on my own steam.

But in retrospect, I wish I had taken his very wise and kind offer to have Angela made into Giclee prints. He knew she was fabulous!!

Poor Raymond. I think I was a bit difficult to work with. He was so generous, and I was so stubborn, and short sighted.

Regardless, that is part of the story, and I am trying to tell the stories behind the paintings here.

The painting “Angela”  is living in the home of John and Lisa Bell.  They are my ex-inlaws, (John is brother to my first out of five husbands)  and they are amongst  my dearest friends. How delightful that it lives in their home, and is framed so beautifully!!

It’s at least fifteen years later, and I saw my daughter Angela last night.  Yup. Still the exhilarating, fabulous  person she was back then. Also, I am feeling those painterly exhilarations  welling up in me now. I think I’ll get going on that piece I’ve had in my head for the last three days! Bye for now.

www.ArtCardsWanted.com/card.cfm?ID=21440

Angel For Lost and Unloved Children

  I painted this picture many years ago. (1987 perhaps) and it is 21×29 inches. Watercolor. I heard a frightning story on the news about some children being murdered by their own mother.  It filled me with sadness, and I just wanted to be omnipotent, and able to reach out and rescue children everywhere, who were unfortunate enough to be born into this world without what they need in protection or love, or food.

This photo does not do her justice. Sadly, it’s the only one I can locate. I just spent an hour digging through old pictures.

When I painted this painting, I wanted to donate it to the City of Vancouver, as a gift, to remind Vancouver to care about children. They didn’t have a program to accept a gift, nor were they able to direct me. I put her up in the GasLite Gallery in Gastown, where she was snapped up by Mr. and Mrs.  Ronald P. They were  very nice, and bought two of my painitngs. The other painting was called “Refused Refuge” and I don’t actually know if I have a picture of it.  If I can hunt one down, I’ll post it tommorrow. A very powerful painting.

One day Rondald P. took me to lunch and told me that I could have quite a feather in my cap, because………….he owned a painting or lithograoh . I’m sorry, I can’t fully recall exactly what it was, but it was a very valuable work of art by Salvadore Dali, and he showed me a picture of it. A magnificent picture of a horse in a cathedral.  Well, to make a long story short, my beautiful Angel had found a home right next to the Dali!

I l-o-v-e this painting, and am thrilled that she has found such a wonderful home.

Angel, Hold Onto Me

About eighteen years old, this painting was inspired by the romance between myself and Jack.  It is 40×30 inches, and painted to the music that starts…. “Angel, Hold Onto Me” that is in the movie, Romeo and Juliet. (The version that has Leonardo DiCaprio).

In love, this lovely painting just happened to the music. I was living on 8th Avenue at the time in Vancouver.I think it might be my first acrylic painting. Or close to the first. Prior to this, I only worked in watercolor.  Also, around this time, I had met another artist from BC, Raymond Chow, and we did an exhibit together in Toronto at Gallery 1313.

I really especially enjoyed making the angel be both the man and the woman, and I really loved painting the magnification of the flowers in the “stain glass window” The song has a sort of soft fireworks to it, (in my mind) and I felt like I captured that too.

I love how she is gently holding his head.

This painting has nearly found a home more times than I can count, but the giant breast that is front and center seems to have prevented people from buying it. They love it but haven’t been able to reconcile hanging a giant breast in their living room. I think it’s beautiful.  I love the way the breast is against him.

I’m going to take my poor painting out of the closet. I became discouraged after so many near sales. And I think I’ll hang it in my living room! (I know I just need to find the right audience for this beautiful painting)

When I first moved to Toronto three years ago, I was struck with how conservative and prudish the art scene seems to be in general. (or, on the opposite side, too horrific and pornographic for my tastes)  I have seen some VERY provocative work here. My experience has been,   originally showing my paintings without consideration, as I don’t believe anyone was ever offended by the bare breasts in many of my paintings when I lived in BC.  But here,I have had men snicker and make jokes, and actually giggle at the images in my work.  I love sensual, (not pornographic) images, and I get, well, embarrassed when I  am showing my paintings and someone starts to snicker. I guess I should get over it!!

I saw a movie about a great artist. (I can’t remember who it was now, but he painted a huge and famous painting.   A French artist, late 1800’s,  and he was in a very huge exhibit at the “Salon” in Paris. He had a large painting of a woman disrobing in front of a man. In the movie a middle-aged woman, wearing a monocle, stands in front of the painting and declares how rude, how crude, how disgusting this painting is! And the artist walks up to her, and says “Madam is getting ready to go out, and that man is her husband!! I thank you NOT to look at my painting!!” I love that! I should adopt that kind of attitude.

The Human Cartoon

This painting is 48×36 inches, acrylic, hand embroidery and beads. It is a private commission, for a wonderful couple that live in Vancouver BC.

I was getting ready to come out to Toronto, and I had just gone to visit Julie and Vince. Vince drove me home, and saw the lady in the middle of this painting. I had completed her, and the rest was sketched out. At least the dimensions of the border were sketched out. Happily, he fell in love with it, and I took it to Toronto and finished it, and it now lives in their house.

I had quite a time working on it in the middle of moving, and my move to Toronto was not smooth.  I had rented an apartment on the recommendation of an acquaintance, that didn’t work out.  I wasn’t able to paint there.  Thank goodness for my wonderful friend who offered to put us up for a time, while we waited to move into the basement apartment in the home of another good friend. This basement apartment was where most of this painting was done. I had a lovely yard to paint in and it was summer. Perfect! I also loved it when my friend was home, and we could visit. She’s definitely in this painting. xoxoxoxo We used to take her dog for a walk every morning. In the park next to the ravine. Good times!

My idea behind this painting was to show the different choices people, in their cartoon of living, make. Like, what they create. I believe that we all create whatever the world is. I mean, I believe that each one of us makes a difference in the outcome. Some of us make bigger differences to the outcome than others. “The Human Cartoon”  is an expression of that belief. This painting is based on  the areas of life, and on one side,I created a  beautiful woman, and she is creating a wonderful and beautiful world. Her “self” is expressed as the flower at the bottom of the painting. On the one side, her decisions are enhancing her family, her friends, people all around the world, nature flourishes, and beauty abounds. Spiritually she is happy and sees the beauty and love of other beings. She is striving to improve all the areas of her life. On the other side, she is making dark and dangerous decisions. It’s killing her. As she sells her body to low life  people and her mind to drug pushers, she enters into a world of evil laughing clowns.  (You can’t see them here, but the evil laughing clowns have pom- poms on their jester hats. I went out searching for “evil pom- poms” and I found the perfect ones!! I have also framed each section of the dark side with “dark side”clunky  beads) She is not paying attention and powerful  evil laughing clowns, motivated by money and greed, swallow up all that is beautiful, and death takes over. Because she is now so deeply deluded in her life, so part of a dark game, when death takes her, she is terrified and haunted by like wise, demented beings.

I know, I am being very dramatic!! But……….that’s the painting.

Here’s to each one of us creating an excellent outcome that enhances our lives,  the lives of others, and nature, and beauty!!

Minerva or Ascending Caravan

] 17×11 inches, hand embroidery and acrylic paint on thick cotton, stretched onto stretcher bars.

The central character is my beautiful friend Minerva. A dancer who came to Canada from Venezuela.  She was helping me with my art in Vancouver. She invited me to show my work in the lobby of her dance class, and I met wonderful people there.

One day we were riding the bus together, and we were talking.

She was very vulnerable in our conversation. Relaying an unfortunate circumstance to me; and she told me a very fascinating story about how she once danced on the back of an elephant, in the Circus. I adored the story and it drifted into a concept I was already working on, to incorporate my border stories about the Eight Dynamics into a mixed media, paint and hand embroidery piece. This concept had been rattling around in my mind for days.

I had seen Minerva dance, at a party. She was wonderful!! In full costume, she led us all around the room to a Latin number. We were weaving in and out of the tables, each person holding onto the person in front of them by the hips. What a hoot!!The man, who was first in line, holding Minerva’s hips definitely looked like he was enjoying himself.! It was classic. What can I say. He had this grin from ear to ear, as he shuffled across the floor.

Art inspires art, and she inspired me. I am sure she has inspired countless numbers  of people! Not only from her dancing, but from her constant desire to help others in whatever way she can.  There are some people who just act.  They see a way to help some one else and they do it. She’s like that. I just love her!! and the dancing, wow! what an astounding ability!!

I came home,threw down my portfolio and purse,  and started the picture. I started with the bra area.  I used blue metallic thread and red and  green cotton, and gold metallic thread. It is very intricate work, and the blue metallic thread kept snagging and breaking, and making me angry. The bra area took me hours.  However, I persisted, and after I had finished that, I knew I was creating a great work of art.

This is my painting of Minerva, striving towards her own spirituality through Dance, and I have her dancing on the back of an elephant. The elephant’s head-dress is teal silk, red paint,  gold and blue metallic thread.  The border is expressed as the flower, being self, and all of beautiful life springing forth along the border from there.

http://kathy-poitras-fine-artist.myshopify.com/collections/works-with-hand-embroidery/products/ascending-caravan

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