Paradise

40×30 inches, acrylic on canvas. I had been living in Hell’s Kitchen in Manhattan, and became very ill, having lost people whom I loved dearly.  This is the story of this painting. Many people have heard the condensed version, which is ” I moved from New York, to Vancouver, and it was so pretty there, I decided to make this painting and call it Paradise”. You are getting the in-depth details.

My husband at the time this was all happening was with me, but not. I don’t know how to describe the disconnect we had. I was falling fast, and I guess he just couldn’t conceive of my pain. I was sick with grief and couldn’t eat. I became anorexic. I went from about 135 pounds,  to 75 pounds in a two-year period.

My beautiful and wonderful sister helped me get to Vancouver. I will never forget our arrival. My youngest Priscilla who was straddled across me on the plane, threw up all over my dress. What a position to be in! It happened just as we were landing. I had only Angela (her older sister) to help me. She was five years old, and completely grossed out by it!  It was like she could not believe this. How could she be there with the barf?!! and after living in Hells Kitchen for over a decade, I wasn’t about to hand Priscilla over to a stranger, while I changed my clothes. (Which, by the way, were in my suitcase, that I had to go and collect from the baggage area)  After the plane landed, we ran into a bathroom, and I cleaned my dress as much as I could, while Angela sat with her sister, and gagged. Then I attended to Priscilla. Angela was completely traumatized by the entire affair! Then I went and got our suitcase, and then back to the bathroom to get changed.

We must have taken an extra long time to come out of the gates where my sister Susy was waiting for us. I was so happy to see her, and she was devastated to see me. I  must have looked like a holocaust victim or something. All skin and bones.  She smiled, we hugged, and started off to my parents’ house in Kitsilano. (A lovely section of Vancouver, close to the beach). As we drove through the streets, lined with big beautiful trees, Angela was very impressed. “Mom, is this a National Park?” She was looking out of the window . When we arrived my parents were thrilled to see us. Angela was enjoying all the attention, and was very amused by my Dad. She sat on the couch and said `Grandpa, your gonzo mushuganah!`(I don’t know if I spelled that right. I think it’s Yiddish. He was so-o-o-o- excited to meet his Grand daughter Priscilla, who looked very much like my Mom, who she was named after.  He already met Angela, but this was his first time meeting Priscilla. She, on the other hand, took one look at this big, excited, strange man and started screaming at the top of her lungs, refusing to go into the house for about two hours.

My parents rented us a basement apartment that we called the bubble gum house. It was bright pink inside. Priscilla thought she was in Barbie Princess paradise. I did have it re-painted (against Priscilla’s miniature protests). It was a bit too bright pink for me. We were in  Kitsilano, walking distance to the beach. It was all the healing and loving, and many days at the beach that allowed me to start to bounce back. My third husband Carl finally joined me and we rented a house.  I was almost back to health and happiness but still, very skinny, and just starting to get over things.  I was able to get some spiritual counseling in Los Angeles, and this really helped me get my health back, and my spirits back. I was feeling very alive and wonderful, and it was after this spiritual counseling that I realized I wanted to paint. I had Scientology Assists and these were so amazing. I was able to get back in communication with my body, and I started to just steadily gain back my health.  And then the counseling on top of that. I felt like a whole person again!

All of these experiences are in this painting. The journey from noisy, concrete  New York, to laid back, green and beautiful Vancouver,  the love for my children, my recovery, the love and help of my family and the absolute beauty of where I was, after I was recovered.

That’s the full story behind the painting. This painting belongs to John and Lisa Bell. A lovely and wonderful home.

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Baby Fairies

29×21 inches. This painting is in the collection of Linda Gledhill in Vancouver BC.  It is a delightful painting, inspired by my babies. I mean, how lucky I am that they each picked me to be their Mama.  By whatever powers and fates exist. I have managed to give birth to five outstanding people. Each one, in their own sphere of influence brings so  much beauty and wonderfullness  into the world. What an honour to be their Mama.

I mean, when I met each one of my babies, I felt so extremely honoured. You picked me!! WOW!!I hope I can do right by you!!!

Perhaps that’s how it goes.

I relate to the Mom in the middle. She is so young, as I was, when my first baby picked me.   Also, in this painting, I am attempting to express some multi culturalism. I met an old black lady when I was in the hospital, after having Chris.  She was about eighty years old, and lovely.  She was wearing a lovely hat, with several different colored flowers around the brim. I mentioned that I liked the hat.  She said “I wear this hat to say to the world, that we are like flowers. Each one of us is beautiful and unique, no matter what color we are.” Well,   I thought it was like a movie really. To be sitting in the waiting room, and to be blessed with this little tidbit of wisdom out of no-where.  But wow. Her hat and her words were powerful, because they entered into my painting years later, and not only that, over three decades later I am writing about those powerful and beautiful words today. and………..I am now inspired to paint a picture of her.  Bye for now!

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